dubdobdee | anger management

ok i walked home from work in a hypervile temper, for what kinda sorta amounts to no very good reason

a: partly it was low blood sugar
b: partly it was i thought i wz meetin up w.someone tonight and hadn't heard and was really furious as they have cancelled on me several times recently and i didn't know why they hadn't today let me know and apologised this time, if they were doin it again (turns out i had misunderstood and am in fact meetin them on saturday, oops)
c: partly it was that, as a result of researchin by the interwebs a TV prog i am writing a feature on, i read an old (unrelated) blog post by someone i have in recent months taken a slightly irrational dislike to (it's not the dislike that's irrational really so much as the intensity of it, which is quite unlike me and truth to tell rather frightens me): anyway what amplified my temper was that this particular blog post i almost entirely AGREED with -- it's a territory the blogger's good on -- except now the spiteful tone and the defensive self-regard seem to jump out at me with faceslapping force; as if to say everything is right about it except the reason it's been written (i don't actually believe this last -- it's just that convincing myself of something like this would make it much easier to get into the guts of what's wrong with the thinking, and why the blogger veers so extremely between smart perceptions and deeply stupid and destructive generalisations)

the crossness has totally utterly dissolved now, probably bcz today it was driven by a and b, and i am careful usually to avoid c (which is a bit cowardly of me, but i just really dislike disliking ppl)