ts: very bad mang or very mad bang er mang

[dubdobdee]

ok i have just spent 2-and-a-half-hours with a nice salesman from k!tchens d!rect who said all the right things re how lovely and creative i am, and wants me to part with £6000 i can't afford (even on installment) for £14000-worth (he sez) of fitted k!tchen, "jan" sales discount plus sign-NOW d!scount

i gave him a deposit cheque and everything, so he wd complete the design spec and leave it with me, and tomorrow or fri i will ring up and cancel cz now i have a lot of good ideas abt what i actually want and need and prices and blah blah

i feel a bit sorry for his wasted time but he wz smoothly hard-sell whenever i went "i may postpone till next year"

tho now i imagine i will be on their books forever, once i cancel, and get pestered quite a bit

Comments

dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

i: k!tchen as is = highly unusual and er intriguing* in a slightly squalid bachelor-y way (haha the man said "oh you NEED a new k!tchen: health and safety issues")**
ii: fitted kitchen = gleamy and new and easy to keep clean but soulless and way tackier than looks in brochure
iii: piecemeal artisanal*** refit = no discounts, need to negotiate separely w.electrician plumber blah blah esp.re moving sink and wall-plugs

*fsvo -- ie OFFPUTTING doutbless in certain romantic situations
**he looked at all my kitchen knives and said "are you involved in KNIFE CRIME at all?" <--- he had quite an impish sense of humour for someone whose accent was barely penetrable
***i have friends who do do this kind of work after all

Re: dilemma

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

KD man was giving you fictional discounts anyways, no one pays book price...

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

haha yes his pitch was LOOK AT PRICES OF JOHN L£WIS ours are the SAME hence by OBVIOUS SCIENCE we are AS GOOD AS JOHN L3WIS QUALITYWISE yet NO! for our 50% discount makes us SUPERIOR to john l3wis

he also told me sad story of other hackney clients who rodered kitchen and ec ONLY TO DISCOVER their stairs were too small and no lift, so nothing cd be delivered: "so we build them an outside lift down from the roof [komedy pause] obviously we charge extra for that"

what is an "outside lift down from the roof"?

Re: dilemma

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

A piece of rope looped thru the guttering?

Re: dilemma

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

a crane?

your stairs are quite wide thoguh, i wouldn't have thought it would've been a big problem for you, although obv to check when getting stuff...

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

mine are fine, we got a grand piano up em! ("we")

Re: dilemma

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

I am good at taking existing kitchens apart, if you want help with that!

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

mine comes apart at the merest touch anyway -- half of it fell down while he was using the tape measure! sadly none of the SUBTLE KNIVES fell off to tumble us both thru into a parallel world full of ARMOURED BEARS and NO IKEA