ts: very bad mang or very mad bang er mang

[dubdobdee]

ok i have just spent 2-and-a-half-hours with a nice salesman from k!tchens d!rect who said all the right things re how lovely and creative i am, and wants me to part with £6000 i can't afford (even on installment) for £14000-worth (he sez) of fitted k!tchen, "jan" sales discount plus sign-NOW d!scount

i gave him a deposit cheque and everything, so he wd complete the design spec and leave it with me, and tomorrow or fri i will ring up and cancel cz now i have a lot of good ideas abt what i actually want and need and prices and blah blah

i feel a bit sorry for his wasted time but he wz smoothly hard-sell whenever i went "i may postpone till next year"

tho now i imagine i will be on their books forever, once i cancel, and get pestered quite a bit

Comments

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

i find i am excessively OH NOES WOT HAVE I WROUGHT abt this -- probbly bcz i never spend money on anything OR make decisions abt anything

i actually DO WANT to upgrade my k!tchen somewhat though not anything like this expansively or expensively i don't think

importantly

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

FVCK EM, get it cancelled now ;) this was a great idea, btw, wish i'd thought of it...

anyone who sells you stuff at some imaginary "discount" will be FIRST AGAINST THE WALL COME MY REVOLUTION

dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

i: k!tchen as is = highly unusual and er intriguing* in a slightly squalid bachelor-y way (haha the man said "oh you NEED a new k!tchen: health and safety issues")**
ii: fitted kitchen = gleamy and new and easy to keep clean but soulless and way tackier than looks in brochure
iii: piecemeal artisanal*** refit = no discounts, need to negotiate separely w.electrician plumber blah blah esp.re moving sink and wall-plugs

*fsvo -- ie OFFPUTTING doutbless in certain romantic situations
**he looked at all my kitchen knives and said "are you involved in KNIFE CRIME at all?" <--- he had quite an impish sense of humour for someone whose accent was barely penetrable
***i have friends who do do this kind of work after all

Re: dilemma

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

KD man was giving you fictional discounts anyways, no one pays book price...

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

haha yes his pitch was LOOK AT PRICES OF JOHN L£WIS ours are the SAME hence by OBVIOUS SCIENCE we are AS GOOD AS JOHN L3WIS QUALITYWISE yet NO! for our 50% discount makes us SUPERIOR to john l3wis

he also told me sad story of other hackney clients who rodered kitchen and ec ONLY TO DISCOVER their stairs were too small and no lift, so nothing cd be delivered: "so we build them an outside lift down from the roof [komedy pause] obviously we charge extra for that"

what is an "outside lift down from the roof"?

Re: dilemma

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

A piece of rope looped thru the guttering?

Re: dilemma

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

a crane?

your stairs are quite wide thoguh, i wouldn't have thought it would've been a big problem for you, although obv to check when getting stuff...

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

mine are fine, we got a grand piano up em! ("we")

Re: dilemma

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

I am good at taking existing kitchens apart, if you want help with that!

Re: dilemma

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

mine comes apart at the merest touch anyway -- half of it fell down while he was using the tape measure! sadly none of the SUBTLE KNIVES fell off to tumble us both thru into a parallel world full of ARMOURED BEARS and NO IKEA

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

also when they ring in the future just say, "oh it's all done now, bye". they get the hint after the third or fourth call ;)

[ultraruby.livejournal.com]

Ooh, we did this! We did it with Kitchens Direct AND with double glazing actually. The whole proces is designed to make you feel bad enough to spend loads of money on (what we realised, thinking about it after) isn't actually a very well designed kitchen. The dude that came to ours was all 'oh look, I've satyed really late talking to you...I must get home and see my little kid, cos he's been in the hospital...' and so on so on and we were all angsty and feeling like he'd put loads of effort in and it was probably a really good deal. Still, though, it's THOUSANDS OF POUNDS of your money, so if you're at all inclined to cancel I say CANCEL. They're used to it, and you don't end up talking to the same person you spoke to. I think actually I did it by e-mail as well, just to be sure. And then we got our kitchen from Magnet and it was loads cheaper and the design was better, so. but Kitchens Direct will pester you. They kept ringing us and going like 'free oven?' 'no, got an oven now' 'free fridge?' 'no, got a fridge now thank you' '50% off your kitchen?' 'no, got a kitchen now, thank you' til eventually they got the idea.

hackles rising...

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

and AS FOR DOUBLE EFFING GLAZING SALESMEN...

...when (if!) we move i am totally not buying anywhere that doesn't already have double glazing just so i don't have to put up with their NONSENSE...

Re: hackles rising...

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

chirpy voice from subcontinental call-out centre: "hullo this is patios direct! are you interested in a new patio?"
DDD: "YES! i live on the third floor -- it will be exciting! Do your customers have a lot of problems with their downstairs neighbours ever?"
CVfSCOC: "!!??!"

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

haha notice how i degoogled kitchen JUST IN CASE -- sorry far0uk if yr readin this :(