wiki-illiam #106: q7

[dubdobdee]

7:
i: Who began with 7-43?
ii: What excluded Hall in 1856?
iii: What did Virginia adopt instead of Jones?
iv: Who gained valuable experience from Gillespie?
v: Who knocked out Jackie to become undisputed flyweight champion?
vi: Who looked into the disappearance of his West African GP's daughter?
vii: What was judged to be a considerable distance from the Strand?
viii: Which minstrel finished with Danny Boy?
ix: Where is St James the highest of all?
x: What is a funny five-liner?

Comments

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

By the time they got to England, the red squishy thing with lots of legs had grown bigger again, and was nearly too big to fit into the packing crate. With a sigh of relief, the captain saw it being lifted off his ship, and onto the quayside, where Carstairs met with a group of experts from London Zoo and from the Natural History Museum.

The experts all looked at the big red squishy thing with lots of legs, and ummed and erred over it, and eventually concluded that none of them had seen anything like it before, but they all took pictures of the big red squishy thing with legs, and wrote out descriptions, and went away to see if they could find anyone who knew about it.

Carstairs didn't know what to do with the big red squishy thing with lots of legs, so he hired a storage unit at the dockside, and moved it out of the packing crate into the storage unit, because by now it was getting a bit too big for the packing crate.

After a few days, Carstairs received a phone call:

`Carstairs speaking.'

`Hello, Carstairs, this is Professor Winfield of the Natural History Museum. We've been looking over our records, and we think we know what your big red squishy thing with lots of legs is.'

`Yes, and what is it? Is it ever going to stop growing?'

`Well, we've only got records of one other creature like this being found, and that one was blue, not red, but we think it's the same species. It's called a rary, and as far as we can tell, it's never going to stop growing. The only thing you can do now is to kill it.'

`Kill it? How? We can't starve it to death -- I haven't fed it since I found it. It just keeps on growing!'

`Well, raries are very tough creatures. The only way you can kill a rary is to tip it off the top of Mount Everest.'

`Off Mount Everest?'

`Yes.'

`Well, thank you, Professor.'

So, Carstairs chartered a cargo ship to take the rary to Calcutta. Before they set off, they moved the rary into the largest shipping container they could find for the voyage.

Despite this attempt to keep it contained, the rary grew too large for the shipping container, and by the time they passed Gibraltar, the container was bulging, and even before they saw the entrance to the Suez canal, the rary had burst out of the container, and was sitting on the foredeck of the ship.

The rary kept growing, and after rounding the southern cape of India, the rary was large enough to cause problems on deck. By the time they reached Calcutta, the rary had taken up all of the available space on the deck of the ship. However, they had radioed ahead, and had people ready at the dockside to push the rary off the ship onto the land.

Carstairs hired many elephants to drag the rary across the country to the foothills of the Himalayas. He then hired hundreds of oxen to drag the rary to the base of Mount Everest, and thousands of Sherpas to drag it up to the top of the mountain.

Just as they were about to tip the creature off the top of Mount Everest, Carstairs saw that it was shaking all over. Being intrigued as to why, he walked around to the front of the rary, and said, `What are you shaking like that for?'

The rary replied, `I'm laughing!'

`Why are you laughing?'

`Well, it's a long way to tip a rary.'

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

VOTE BAN Y/N >:D

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

This is Puffin Joke Book vintage stuff!

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

concentrate on complete lists of the names of all irish counties plz!

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

Including Norn Ireland? Actually, I can do *those* ones;

Munster: Waterford, Cork, Kerry, Tipperary, Clare, Limerick

Leinster: Wexford, Wicklow, Killarney, Dublin, Longford, Meath, Laois, Carlow, Offaly, Westmeath erm erm erm

Connacht: Galway, Sligo, Leitrim, Mayo, Roscommon

Ulster: Fermanagh, Armagh, Tyrone, Derry, Antrim, Down (NI)
Donegal, Cavan, Monaghan (RoI)

I think I am missing some from Leinster.

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

Oh, arse, when I said Killarney there I meant Kildare! Also add Kilkenny to that list.

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

is 7/43 something to do with the "six counties" (ie was seven but Monaghan etc?)

ie were/are there 43 irish counties in toto -- looks like NOT from your list...

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

It was always six; I think RickyT is OTM with his cricket idea.

There are 32 counties in total; 6 in the north and 26 in the republic. I THINK they are all above now, unless I have miscounted/ duplicated/ made some up.

[jeff-worrell.livejournal.com]

Monaghan sounds like a boxer

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

more applause!

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

I think the missing one is Louth!

[jeff-worrell.livejournal.com]

erm, Waterford
Longford (I wondered if Lord L might be an answer, but his Wiki entry doesn't help much)
Clare
Kerry (John?)
Galway (James?)
Kilkenny (Cats?)
Meath
Mayo
Sligo...

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

James Galway - Danny Boy - vii?

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

there is a virginia mayo, but i'm not sure what she does/did

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I assume, from all of this, that she adopted the name Mayo instead of Jones...

Why one would do that is another matter entirely.

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

Marriage?

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah maybe - for some reason (maybe the word "adopted") I just thought of pen names/stage names.

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

or stagename? because there are lots of joneses already?

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

YOU WIN! This joke is what I think of every time I hear the song and the county.

Is it the longest thing in the PJB?

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

I think the one about mothballs is longer.