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the captains and the kings depart
Dec. 26th, 2009 12:02 pmi: victorian video FAIL -- we could not remember how to get it hooked up to record = whobegone :(
ii: dad tires much sooner than this time last year; as ever he gathered himself and put in a tremendous effort to be wakeful and ready but could not adjust to t!llytime, which put us an hour late -- he was not really awake to take in his big present but i will re-present it today when he is; plus he decided to eat in his room with the carer helping... the first time in 50 years i have not had xmas dinner with him i just realised -- i was too tired and t!lly too diverting to grasp that last night
iii: still he ate dinner and enjoyed the day, and so did t!lly even if that meant 10 x pigs in blankets and no veg
iv: dad's "projects"are elaborating, a combination of wanting to be involved and doing stuff, but no longer really quite recalling what there is to do -- he asked for a box of leftover baubles and arranged them on a tray, for "investigation" -- by the time this got tidied away, he seemed to have moved on from it -- i suppose for now i find this charming more than sad, as with his strange circumlocutions for words he has forgotten, which are not a million miles from the way he used to speak anyway -- certainly it is not awful the way a couple of mum's later xmases were, when she was hyper-drunk and angry or in pain -- one was when b3cky was away and it was just me; the other was her last, when she was agony from her back
v: physically he is frailer too, and gaunt now because he gets bored with eating sooner -- he has not much sense of taste or smell left, which makes it a chore: some of the carers work magic here, others get frustrated and cross
vi: we did not get round to giving all the presents out, what with little miss CHAOS ruling our worlds now! i cannot quite frame how we will do this today
vii: i am pragmatic about ritual-fail -- amused by it really -- but i notice also that i notice it; how useful and directing it is...
anyway, "well done us" is the real takeaway -- rain took away the snow last night, and i notice also poured throygh the ceiling outside the larder, unless that was melted ice from inside
merry boxing day from Tiny Gormenghast!
ii: dad tires much sooner than this time last year; as ever he gathered himself and put in a tremendous effort to be wakeful and ready but could not adjust to t!llytime, which put us an hour late -- he was not really awake to take in his big present but i will re-present it today when he is; plus he decided to eat in his room with the carer helping... the first time in 50 years i have not had xmas dinner with him i just realised -- i was too tired and t!lly too diverting to grasp that last night
iii: still he ate dinner and enjoyed the day, and so did t!lly even if that meant 10 x pigs in blankets and no veg
iv: dad's "projects"are elaborating, a combination of wanting to be involved and doing stuff, but no longer really quite recalling what there is to do -- he asked for a box of leftover baubles and arranged them on a tray, for "investigation" -- by the time this got tidied away, he seemed to have moved on from it -- i suppose for now i find this charming more than sad, as with his strange circumlocutions for words he has forgotten, which are not a million miles from the way he used to speak anyway -- certainly it is not awful the way a couple of mum's later xmases were, when she was hyper-drunk and angry or in pain -- one was when b3cky was away and it was just me; the other was her last, when she was agony from her back
v: physically he is frailer too, and gaunt now because he gets bored with eating sooner -- he has not much sense of taste or smell left, which makes it a chore: some of the carers work magic here, others get frustrated and cross
vi: we did not get round to giving all the presents out, what with little miss CHAOS ruling our worlds now! i cannot quite frame how we will do this today
vii: i am pragmatic about ritual-fail -- amused by it really -- but i notice also that i notice it; how useful and directing it is...
anyway, "well done us" is the real takeaway -- rain took away the snow last night, and i notice also poured throygh the ceiling outside the larder, unless that was melted ice from inside
merry boxing day from Tiny Gormenghast!
