modern life and its dilemmas

reading this (post and thread) made me larf non-stop last night

esp. at 16:
"People should be encouraged to behave like this so long as I don't have to date them."

and at 39:
Her, answering his phone call: Hello, St3v3.
Him: "St3v3"? You always call me "honey." Is this how it's going to be?
Her: you just had your c0ck in another man's mouth and you're bitching about me calling you by your name?