"becoming"

hmph i am gettin a real end-of-an-era/all-change vibe off lots of things at the moment

i. moving BANKS -- i have been w.stupid loidz since i was 13!
ii. in two issues time i will have been a cr*fts for TEN YEARS -- and i'm not sure there will BE a two issues time, i need to "get weaving" (DYS!!)
iii. hmmm rapprochement with the w!re (obv i did a little stuff w.em since i left but i feel unbothered and unburdened now abt being CRITICAL)
iv. changes in immediate family set-up (this is all supersecret still so i will leave it at that)*
v. haha "becoming" is what francis dolarhyde refers to his transformation into the "red dragon" in "red dragon" -- it is all abt sexual energy i guess but not actually very nice
vi. ???
vii. anyway supposing i actually do write up any of the things i am embarked on, they are all part of a general self-reassassing footlooseness which is kinda super-exciting (as well as a bit confusing and vainglorious la)



*ps i am not gettin married (except to petrajane obv)

the pirates died the cat died :(

mum's little cat tangle was very nuts -- nervy and contrary, and never really recovered from the death of its companion/sibling crummoch more than ten years ago... she gave some of dad's less cat-canny carers (and me) all kinds of trouble, by demanding stuff then walking away when she got it, often with an angry ungrateful hiss

she walked by herself, had no friends that we ever spotted -- in a village full of cats -- and visibly pined for mum for months (who like crummoch was taken away by car one day and didn't come back), and afterwards sometimes seemed like mum's secret agent, watching over us sardonically

the vet did some tests this morning, in case it was just thyroids and curable, but it wasn't -- becky and dad buried her in the little patch of young trees by the vegetable garden, where she would sit and watch birds. i guess she was 12 or 13. the last family cat we'll have in that house i imagine