May. 20th, 2010

dubdobdee: (bill)
am feeling a bit melancholy and deflated

is it:

a) bcz i am hungover and tired and achey or even a bit ill again boo
b) had a lunch meeting with [___] who i'm working on something with; his unease abt something i don't quite grasp makes me worry it's my stuff he's worried about not his, except he won't say
c) post-partum blues after my S&S piece which isn't that great i don't think (juggling too many elements; in the end too little time)
d) rereading "flashman in the great game", the death at the end of beautiful and courageous lakshmibai, the maharani of jhansi and wild spark of the indian mutiny -- who is flashman's one true love, and he sees her die...

it's a bit of all of a-c, but it is mainly d, and this is VERY VERY MENTAL ftb she -- while a genuine historical personage -- died 152 years ago; and he is FICTIONAL ffs!

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